What is Inside
The Inner Game
“You got this Sam.”
“Play your best Suzy. Give it your all.”
“Keep your head in the game, kid.”
These are just some of the messages I have heard yelled at kids from well-meaning coaches and parents in sports.
Yet often in sports, there is a tension, a background struggle around identity and worthiness. How young people perform determines not only their individual worthiness, but that of their family and team.
What is Inside
A friend of mine, Michael Gervais, is a sports psychologist who helps some of the world’s top athletes mentally prepare for their sport.
I asked him once, “What do you tell a player right before he or she heads out to the field or court? Do you say, ‘stay focused, give it your all, play your best,’ or something else?”
Michael replied, “I generally say the same thing, no matter the sport or the player.”
“And what is that?” I asked?
He responded, “I tell them, ‘You have everything you need inside you’.”
Winning and Losing
I have always loved that answer. Winning and losing is not the point, he explained, a player discovering what is inside is a much better focus.
Then curiously as a player focuses in this way, the tension decreases and his or her performance improves.
It turns out that winning happens more often when something else matters more!
The Lesson
I sense this is a lesson for all of us.
In many ways, we are all still just kids playing a game, but instead of a sport, we are playing the game of life.
Are we trying to win and prove ourselves? Or are we focused on discovering that we have everything we need inside us?
Do we experience ease or tension in our activities? And if there is tension, where is it coming from?
And how much of this tension decreases when we focus on what is inside instead of what is outside?
May you better understand this journey of discovery today, and the dance between inner and outer.
Blessings,
SOREN
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Here's a more vivid expression of this idea by ancient philosopher Chuang Tzu:. It's what I gave my students when they asked "How do I get an A?"
When an archer is shooting for nothing
He has all his skill.
If he shoots for a brass buckle
He is already nervous.
If he shoots for a prize of gold
He goes blind
Or sees two targets –
He is out of his mind!
His skill has not changed. But the prize
Divides him. He cares.
He thinks more of winning
Than of shooting –
And the need to win
Drains him of power.
Beautiful! Thanks for sharing Soren.