STATUS
Dear Friends,
I have been noticing status more and more …
Conversations such as:
You live in the city. Really, what neighborhood?
You went to college in Boston? Really, what school?
You went on vacation. Really, where did you go?
While some of these questions may simply be out of curiosity and are relevant to the conversation, these can also be a way to assess STATUS.
Do you live in Manhattan or the Bronx, did you go to Harvard or Boston College, did you go on vacation to Hawaii or camping?
All determine status.
I am not even aware, often, of how much this can at times influence my questions.
As adults, status is often based on what we have acquired or achieved.
As kids, status can vary, with some kids trying to limit the privilege they have, as status often is more about how hard their life is or the challenges they face. They want to belong, and too much wealth can make them appear different.
How do each of us determine status?
I have status (or do not have status) due to my looks, my intelligence, the way I dress, my education, my house … or even how many meditation retreats I have been on!
Noticing
When we notice the need to assess status, where is it coming from?
What is going on inside us when we are trying to determine status?
What other options for connecting might there be?
As you make your way today, may you notice what pulls you to separate, and what brings you back to connection — both to yourself and someone else.
Our actual status is this: we are a human being who suffers, who loves, who lives, and who dies.
That is our status. Everything else is secondary.
I hope to see you at Wisdom 2.0 2024 this week (either online or in person) See schedule here »»»
Blessings,
It really is all pervasive in today’s society. The gap between rich and poor has become a chasm of huge proportion, more crater-like than gap. We are all a product of this inequality and inevitably those who have more become even more fearful of losing it all, and that fear makes us grasp. I think status is only one manifestation among many of the inequalities we live with, and most if not all of them are just as awful and equally divisive when you break them down.
I think almost always the follow-up questions are coming from a place of genuine curiosity and desire to make deeper connections - knowing where someone if from, or where they've been, might just make the world feel smaller, in the best way. Haven't you ever been chatting with a stranger hundreds of miles from where you grew up and found out you went to the same junior high, but ten years apart? (I have) Wouldn't you love to share fond memories about places you have been - or to know more about places you haven't been? Me? I'm not worried about the occasional person who wants to judge me and find me inferior - whatevs. I'm not going to stop asking - or answering - "status" questions.