Our Two Problems
Dear Friends,
I do not generally see the world through the lens of problems. I see and experience challenges often, but the title for this piece came to me as “problems,” so I am going with that!
Problem #1
I do not see the impact I have. "Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it,” reportedly said Gandhi.
Every word we speak, every decision we make, every action we take impacts the world. We may not always see it, but it sets in motion a chain of events.
The world is made up of our thoughts, as the Buddha said in the opening of the Dhammapada, and every thought impacts the world that comes forth.
Not seeing this — and thinking we do not matter — is Problem #1.
Problem #2
The second problem takes the first one to the extreme.
It goes something like, “I can control how the world outside of me takes shape.” We impact the world, of course, but the external world is largely out of our hands — millions of conditions came together to create this very moment right now, much of it out of our control.
How much time do we spend trying to control what we have no control over?
For me, the answer is “a lot.”
What my children do or do not do, what the stock market does, what a friend thinks of me, how the war in Iran will turn out — you name it.
It is pretty clear: The more I think I can control the external world, the more I suffer.
Thinking I can control how the world takes shape is Problem #2.
Now, of course, neither of these has to be a problem. But left unexamined, each orientation becomes one.
In #1, we think nothing we do matters, and we live with little motivation; in problem #2, we are constantly trying to tweak the world in an exhausting effort to bend it to our will.
Which one of these do you spend the most time in?
Our Opportunity
In many ways, our opportunity is to passionately, intensely, and lovingly work to impact the world as best we can … while knowing at the same time, we have no idea how life will turn out.
And that is good news! If we knew the end of the story already, what fun would that be?
Complete responsibility and presence
AND
complete surrender and letting go.
Sounds so easy, right?
But if we can do it, life will still have its share of challenges, but we will have many fewer problems.
Of course, we likely create more than two problems in life, but these are on my mind today!
Wishing you a day of many wonderful challenges … and fewer and fewer problems.
Blessings,
Aloha, my friend across the ocean, from Maui.
Soren, I appreciate how you have distilled this down to two essential problems. When I worked for Motorola, the culture discouraged us from using the word problem. We were taught to replace it with opportunity, a small shift in language that created hope and reminded us that something could be done.
The Dalai Lama similarly reduces the purpose of life to a beautiful idea: happiness and joy. That, too, gives me hope.
Still, perhaps there are moments when we need to call something a problem—especially when hope feels critically low. Naming the problem can help us recognize its seriousness, while seeing the opportunity helps us move toward a solution.
Your message about accepting responsibility for our impact while surrendering control over the outcome deeply resonates with me. I may not know the answer, but I know I want to be part of the solution—without becoming discouraged, overwhelmed, or spending precious time trying to control what I cannot.
And time is precious. We cannot make more of it, but we can choose to take our time, slow down, be present, and laugh more often. That is one of my favorite ways to create a little more happiness and joy along the way.
Mahalo for this thoughtful reminder.
Social change requires 3.5 % of any given population, according to theorists Ellen Chenowithand Mark Lichbach. So I agree, simple acts of kindness, resistance, and refusal makes us all agents of 'good trouble'.