(From ChatGPT)
Dear Friends,
“He is a total narcissist," my friend said as we discussed one of the notable business leaders of our time.
Later when discussing a political leader it came up again, “Man, he is such a narcissist too.”
Now, I could certainly relate to the tendencies of the people we discussed (though I am generally not one to put labels on people) yet the question remains:
“We can see other people’s narcissistic tendencies, but can we see our own?”
This does not excuse or diminish what we see outwardly, but it does point us back to something we have a bit more control over: our own tendencies, our own narcissism, our own learning.
Separation
There is a world of difference in realizing that everything we detest in another is also in ourselves … and everything we admire in another is also in ourselves. Then we do not create a sense of separation, of being better than or worse than.
We tend to think we are amazing because we are … fill in the blank (conservative or liberal, educated or not educated, working class or upper class), then focus only on the faults of others.
"It is easy to see the faults of others, but difficult to see one's own. One sifts out the faults of others like chaff, but one conceals one’s own faults as a cunning gambler conceals a losing throw." — The Buddha
Could the person with no narcissistic tendencies please stand up?
Maybe there are a few people, but generally we all have these tendencies.
A friend might tell us about a particular challenge, saying, “I sprained my ankle really bad and I am in a lot of pain.” And instead of listening and inquiring more, our first response is, “Well, I actually broke my leg once, and talk about pain, that was really intense. Let me tell you more about it …” And off we go.
It is too much to just be with that other person, to not bring it back to ourselves. This does not make us bad, only human.
Maybe this is something we can try today: notice the tendency to bring attention back to ourselves.
As narcissism seems to be exploding in the world, in part cultivated by social media, maybe this pattern will only truly shift once we look more deeply at ourselves.
Blessings,
SOREN
Upcoming Wisdom 2.0 Events:
That old saying of, "Be careful calling others out on something bcuz that same hand has 3 fingers pointed 👉 back at yourself!! I can honestly say, that I am far from being a narcissist, bcuz I continue to battle a sense of pessimism with the direction our government is now steering us towards...Woodrow has spoken, please take note and bow down!!!
I recently channeled a section on the messages of Narcissism...the main one being we are all players in the sanctity of life. What one believes affects the All. https://valeriersmith.substack.com/p/the-messages-of-narcissism