Complaining
Dear Friends,
“I just cannot believe what she said to me,” my friend tells me. I listen, then listen some more, then keep listening. “Can you believe it?”
After some time listening, I start to wonder, When is complaining helpful, and when does it become unhelpful?
Of course, there is a place for speaking up. If a waiter brings us cold soup, it is fine to tell the waiter, “My soup is cold. Could you please warm it?” Or tell a friend, “I am feeling frustrated right now.” It is just the truth of the moment. There is awareness of our experience, and we are naming it.
But then there is other capacity humans have, which is to create a narrative around our experience, “How could the waiter do this to me?” or “The world makes me so frustrated.” We keep talking about it and some part of us enjoys telling the story that we are wronged and somehow the victim of life.
We both hate it and love it at the same time. The story feeds some part of us.
Then we wonder why we are so exhausted at the end of the day … How much is due to our workload, and how much is from complaining all day about reality? Of course, we need to tell our stories, and to also see when the stories may not serve us.
So as we make our day today, can we inquire, What are the narratives we are creating? When is sharing helpful, and when does it simply reinforce a “story of me” that may not actually serve us?
I am not complaining about people who complain :-) … only suggesting there may be a deeper teaching in these moments.
There is the present moment and our response to the present moment. That is life. As Eckhart Tolle suggests, “Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it. All else is madness.
Blessings,
Hey Soren
I’ve noticed in the Wisdom 2.0 community, we have a lot of great discussions, but what seems to be missing for me, is experience - something actionable that changes habits and rewires thought patterns. Science shows we’re naturally wired for negativity, and while mindfulness is a huge positive practice, it doesn’t always lead to lasting change, unless you notice the shift of one’s habits.
Positive Intelligence (PQ) training, has been a game-changer for how I experience life. PQ builds on mindfulness by providing tools to shift those negative patterns and improve the quality of our momentary experience. I’d love to offer a fun talk on how PQ adds that extra layer of transformation.
Warmly,
Akiva
What is the fee for the baha retreat? How to get more information without signing up?